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Series 1/ Log 0.25 (PRO-LOG)


The Courtship of Nurse Ratknee


Nurse Ratknee reports to the Central Computer for a routine “confessional” and performance evaluation.  Although her request to have Nurse Barbara struck down is denied, it becomes clear that the Central Computer has plans for her.



Series 1/ Log 1.0


Happiest Surgeon in Space

Re: Timeoff Requests per Killing Aliens


Dr. Goode suffers traumatic stress disorder on the eve of his wedding to the lovely Nurse Barbara, despite attempts to self-medicate.  Chief administrator Snead tries his hand at surgery to impress his assistant, Maggie Morningstar.







Series 1 /Log 2.1 - “I’m Pregnant”


Nurse Ratknee confronts several of her colleagues as she tries to identify the father of her baby in this footage captured and replayed by the Central Computer.






Log 2 – “Day of the X”


The crew has assembled to sing carols in celebration of an ancient holiday when a solar flare rattles the ship and sends Nurse Ratknee into labor.  While the surgical team and Nurse Barbara assist in the delivery, Snead fields an incoming signal from an annoying trio of lizard kings bearing gifts from Alpha Centauri. 




Log 3 – “I, Manbot – Part 1”


Galactic tennis star Lindsay Austin arrives at Space Hospital to get some bionics to improve her game just as Nurse Ratknee’s robot-baby is taken away from her for testing.  The father’s baby, Lovable Robot, sues for custody of their child, and a trial is scheduled for the next day.  In the meantime, robot-baby has grown full-size into a handsome though childlike man.  Lindsay Austin, the newly bionic tennis star, falls in love with him on first sight.  When Aknar and robot-baby come to blows, Lindsay Austin uses her bionic backswing to protect him.  She and robot-baby declare their love for each other with a distraught, slightly disgusted Nurse Ratknee sobbing as they leave.  Will it be happily-ever-after for these freakish lovers?





“Save the Robots!”


Nurse Ratknee raises awareness of the widespread joblessness of robots back on Earth.  All they need is something to do, and once back on their feet, they will render humans obsolete.






Log 4 – “Fathers and Clones”


Lonely and over-worked, Snead decides to grow a clone to be both a son and

an assistant to him.  Aknar’s father, a lowbrow miner who abandoned Aknar and his mother, checks into Space Hospital with space black-lung.  He quickly humiliates Aknar, insisting that Goode perform his operation even though it is Aknar’s specialty.  Snead’s clone grows quickly and becomes more efficient and far more popular than Snead himself.  Aknar and Snead ponder if murder is okay if “it’s your own blood.”





“Boobification!”


Under pressure to increase revenues, management unveils its newest surgical procedure from its “quality of life” line.  Why have 2 when you can have 200?






Log 5 – “Reading, Writing, Reactionary”


Under the influence of a television recovered on an archaeological dig, Omacron disseminates dangerous ideas throughout Space Hospital, sparking violent rebellion.  Management decides to spearhead the revolt, so Chief Administrator Snead and his assistant, Maggie Morningstar, announce a ban on reading.  Aknar reveals his illiteracy to Nurse Ratknee, who lures him to her bedroom for phonics lessons.   They are discovered and arrested along with Snead who is caught reading Maggie’s diary.  As they are brought before an angry crowd to be stoned, Omacron valiantly steps in to try to make peace with dangerous results.




“No Nose Now!”


Space Hospital is pleased to introduce this beautification procedure as part

of its “Don’t You Deserve the Best” line.







Log 6 – “Half Dozen of the Other”


As Omacron is wheeled into emergency surgery, Nurse Barbara and Nurse Ratknee weep profusely over his body, each declaring her devotion.  Post-surgery, Ratknee is presented with the alien brain symbiote, basting in cerebral juices, which had to be separated from the human host, Fred, who

is returned to a delighted Nurse Barbara.  Romance is in the air as these

two pairs of lovers get to know each other over the course of an eventful

and surprising evening.






“New Organ!”


Space Hospital is pleased to announce the first offering in its line of new organs.  Just because you weren’t born with it, doesn’t mean you don’t

need it.  You’re welcome.





“Work Better with Svedka Vodka”


In the frantic effort to improve Space Hospital’s bottom line, management begins product endorsements.  Dr. Goode felt no ethical conflict in advertising this product, however, because he does, in fact, perform better with vodka.






Log 7 – “Omagone” Season Finale


The Overlords (the pan-dimensional beings who run The Centrality and own Space Hospital) send Prince Neville Plod to whip Space Hospital into shape or else destroy it.  Plodd arrives in the midst of a somber funeral for Omacron and lectures them about proper hospital protocol and the real meaning of fun.  Taking a hard stance against sexy shenanigans, Plodd calls in the orders for Space Hospital to be destroyed.  Nurse Ratknee takes one for the team and goes to bed with Plodd, but will her charms be enough to save Space Hospital? 


Be sure to watch Space Hospital - Season II to find out!